5 phrases the most mentally strong people use to spark happiness in hard times, from an expert
Aseem
Do you smile every time you hear a specific song, or light up when you see a certain old friend? Those are both what I like to call happiness sparks.
We need them now more than ever to thrive despite challenges, distractions, and overwhelming current events. Unfortunately, as I wrote in my recent book, “The Mentally Strong Leader,” there are some days when these moments are hard to come by.
The key is to bring more happiness sparks into your life — not by chance, but by choice.
It takes mental strength and discipline to adopt perspectives and make choices that can help bring you joy, especially when negative emotions and thoughts are hijacking you.
The most mentally strong people lean on these five mantras, which can provide little bursts of resilience and create sparks of happiness.
practicing gratitude improves well-being, research shows.
In the situations above, for instance, you might be grateful for valuable insights, the loved ones you can spend more quality time with, and a new travel destination, as well as a friendship you can continue cultivating long-distance.
acceptance, which is a surer path to pulling out of a downward spiral.
Don’t try to banish an adverse event from your psyche or change what you feel about it. Let it sit there. Acknowledge and accept that your emotions are legitimate reactions and focus on how you’ll move forward in a productive way.
ABC model in cognitive behavioral therapy. The idea is to remind yourself that adversity doesn’t automatically mean negative outcomes.
The end result of adversity is determined by how you respond to it, and the beliefs you form because of it.
For example, will you believe that a job interview that didn’t go well was a non-recoverable disaster that clearly demonstrates you’re a failure? Or will you believe that it’s a learning opportunity and an obstacle you’ll overcome, like you have in other situations in the past?
happiness is a destination, that if you can only make a little more money, or achieve some specific thing, then you’ll be happy.
You might tell yourself, “I’ll be happy when I finally get that promotion,” for example, or “If I could just fit into those old jeans, I’d be so much happier.” In the meantime, you let joy slip by unnoticed as you keep your head down, grinding.
Mentally strong people engage in what I call “grindfulness,” a practice at the intersection of gratitude and mindfulness. It allows you to notice and recognize your gratitude for the small positives, even in tough moments.
It encourages you to draw happiness from finding and experiencing joy in the world around you, right now, every day.
Scott Mautzis a popular speaker, trainer, and LinkedIn Learning instructor. He’s a former senior executive of Procter & Gamble, where he ran several of the company’s largest multi-billion-dollar businesses. He is the author of “The Mentally Strong Leader: Build the Habits to Productively Regulate Your Emotions, Thoughts, and Behaviors.” Follow him on LinkedIn.
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