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Sarah Hyland has opened up about developing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) from an abusive past relationship.
The Modern Family star, 33, spoke to Variety about the lasting feelings of self-guilt she experiences due to her relationship from more than 10 years ago.
In the interview, published on October 24, Hyland explained how the PTSD stays “in that abused place of your soul, where you think it’s your fault the whole time and you could have done better, you could have gotten out sooner, you could have told people.
“It’s almost like you don’t wanna talk about it anymore. You want it to be done, and that’s that. I completely understand the dissociation pattern of it,” she continued.
Hyland went on to describe how she’s sometimes felt “triggered” since the abuse – a reminder that she hasn’t fully recovered from the trauma she endured. The actor also said she believes her experience rings true for many women who’ve been in similar relationships.
The former Love Island USA host said: “I am very much guilty about it myself… until something happens where I’m triggered, and I didn’t realize that part of myself had been healed.
“I don’t know if that part [of] any woman will ever be fully healed from that. It’s something that kind of scars her soul a little bit,” she added, before noting how she’s still trying to heal and “put love toward that scar.”
Though Hyland didn’t identify her past partner, she was granted a restraining order from ex-boyfriend and Geek Charming co-star Matt Prokop in September 2014. The Annie actor accused Prokop of choking and verbally abusing her throughout their four-year relationship. Hyland claimed she was “fearful” for her life during their time together, in her court filing obtained by Us Weekly.
Speaking to Variety, Hyland recalled finding solace and comfort in the company of her dog, and acknowledged how pets can be used as pawns against some women in abusive relationships.
“I wouldn’t have been able to get through a lot of times without my dog,” she noted. “But then, at the same time… animals can be used as a manipulation and used as a tactic as well.
Hyland added: “Their lives are then, therefore, put on the line [to] try to hurt someone through an animal.”
Now, the actor has used her experience to help build a community and offer resources to survivors of abusive relationships through Purina’s Purple Leash Program, an organization working to make more domestic shelters pet-friendly, so survivors can be with their pets.
In June, Julie Bowen – Hyland’s Modern Family co-star and on-screen mother – remembered “saving” the young actor from her toxic relationship while on the ABC sitcom.
“I was a responsible adult that happened to be around at the right time,” Bowen explained on The Skinny Confidential Him & Her podcast. “I mean, I’m sure another responsible adult would have done the exact same thing. I just love her.”
The national domestic abuse helpline offers support for women on 0808 2000 247, or you can visit the Refuge website. There is a dedicated men’s advice line on 0808 8010 327. Those in the US can call the domestic violence hotline on 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Other international helplines can be found via www.befrienders.org.